So, this is my room. Approximately four foot smaller than everybody else's, and at least once a week one of the bulbs from the various lighting fixtures will go, plunging me into perpetual night until such times as I turn one of the others on.
    The design was perfect in giving me this room. It has an extra bolt which the others don't have, and is just above a covered walkway, meaning in case of fire, I don't have three stories to jump down, only one. Perfect, eh? I mean you have to think of these things, and I'm so fucking paranoid anyway, that they probably gave me this to keep me quiet.

    When I first came here, I felt very popular. People would come to my room, and sit on my bed. They didn't say much, but I attributed this to the simple fact that none of us knew each other very well. And then I realised that not only were they silent, they were staring straight ahead of them, almost as if hypnotised. The phenomena stopped as soon as I turned the TV off, and then I was left alone again. This occurrence has sort of stopped now. But guaranteed, on a monday and a friday, at six o'clock, they will descend into my room, and then leave when the Simpsons has finished. I've tried to stop them, but realised it would be a superhuman effort to do so. One day I'm going to do a sociological study on these weird migratory habits.

    In this room, various things occur. Some call it the Parlour of Love. Others the Den of Shining Personalities. Others, the Sea of Stimulating Conversation. But all of these people are LIARS. Truth be told, very little happens. Not enough sleep at appropriate times, a fantastic propensity for distraction, and various film premiers of the events of an evening (you see, they all say they hate it, but when it comes to the viewing, EVERYBODY loves it. Ha ha ha. One day I'll rule the world!!).

    So far, of all the promises I've had, I've been visited by only two people; Becky and Dan. The bed was a tight fit, but we all managed to squeeze in somehow. Anyway, this is all undoubtedly dull. Go and look at somebody else's room. Please.