by Terry Rudenoise.
Hello, I'm Terry Rudenoise, world-famous author of "The Thrills have Eyes!" and "An Eye for an Eye - the History of Optical Transplants" and I'm very happy to introduce this, the newest edition of "The Joy of Specs". Now, previous editions came under heavy criticism. People felt such indulgent journeys into the world of specs should be a private affair, and Mot Snikle (with Glen Manhood) had overstepped the boundaries of good taste by wholeheartedly embracing specs in society. Since then, and the legal battle with the publishers of "The Joy of Necks - a Journey into the Spine" over alleged plagiarism of the title, it's been a quiet time for the average enjoyer of specs. But all that's changed now, thanks to this, the thirtieth edition of this best-selling book. This time, rather than shy away from such social "taboos" as kinky specs (the idea of specs involving rubber has been finally made acceptable thanks to the introduction of Flexiframes) there are many chapters on it, in fact, more than any other part.
So sit back with your partner, and thumb your way through the Joy of Specs - it may cause blindness, but if it didn't, why would you be reading this book?!?!??!?? Ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ahhahha hah aah ah ah.
by Mot Snikle.
It has long been my pleasure to wear specs. They have been an important part of my life for many many many years now, since I was a small boy in my village. In my village, growing up, it was important to be able to see properly. How otherwise could we feast and dance and sing as we do, without being able to enjoy the beauty of God's work in my village?
My mother wore specs. It was from her that I learnt the facts about specs, and my first experiences of the beauty that specs represent.
Without specs, as a people, we are nothing. Specs are so often ignored in favour of supposed good taste. The only taste that is worth considering is the taste of the honey from the bees, and the scent of the morning spring air in my village.
I would like to thank Glen Manhood for aiding me in the writing of this book. To be honest, he wrote most of it, but he's nobody, whereas I am famous, so I get my name first. But still.
I love specs. I hope you will indulge my passion too.