My Biography.

Check out the threads, then move down to read all about me.


 
NAME Tom Elvis
DOB 15th March 1324 BC (Making me the age of the trees and the stones, baby).
MARITAL STATUS Married and divorced 17 times, to a tribe of Pencil Sharpeners.
HOBBIES Cutting toenails, smoking goats cheese, dancing naked to the big-beat sounds of Celine Dion, making sweet love under palm trees (as yet unfulfilled - have you ever been to Gosport? The closest I got was in the window of Going Places. They had a display about the Bahamas, and I now have a criminal record...)
FAVOURITE FILM The Happy Hooker
FAVOURITE BAND Earth, Wind and Fire
NAME OF PRINCIPLE TEDDY BEAR Salamander. 
 
QUOTE "What did you think I meant by devil-worshipping?
SMALLEST FINGER 1.458 cm.
FASHION SENSE Questionable.
THE NEED FOR SPEED? I feel it.
 
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